I’ve noticed an interesting thing. How some people seem to have almost exclusively wonderful and enjoyable dances and dance evenings? While others do not seem to get anything else than the disappointments and failed evenings? Are you follower or leader does not seem to be important thing.
Think! Do you have great dance evening, when you get to dance a lot with pros or great dancers. Or is it depending on how many dance you have to stand and wait someone to ask you dance? Or wonder if all dancer that you dance with, are only beginners? And of course, they does not lead/follow other than the basic patterns, dull.
I remember time when I was thinking sometimes like that. Luckily I get work with pro which made me understand what is social dancing all about 🙂 Dance should be enjoyable and fun for both. It is not about patterns, amount or difficulty of those. Not how to show how good I am. It is all about the feeling, the connection with your partner. It’s an insanely good feeling that comes when you create together something cool and you both have the WAU! – vibe after the dance. Sentence ”In party search someone inexperienced, newbie dancer, ask her/him to dance and make it work, for both of you!” made me realize, that a successful dance is not about skill or kilometers, but it is all about the desire to make dance feel great for both of you. I have just as much a responsibility as a leader. If you feel that you can’t do it, maybe your dancing skills are not yet as good as it could be. Of course, you can’t be perfectly sync with all your partners, but dance can still be a pleasant together. Instead of that I expect my leader to make me a spectacular dance pleasure, I have moved to think how could I make amazing feeling for us.
A good follower or leader will be able to take care of their partner, if you are more skilful / experienced dancer you have more responsibility to make dance flow smoothly. The more experienced can help beginner dancer, just by doing yourself a little bit more. If you can make your partner feels ” wow, it feels I can almost dance”, you have done something right. :*
Well, don’t you think dancing is boring if you just do things to make another person feel the fun? It is not that I just do things. Usually, when I dance and I try as much as I can and give attention to my partner, so he feels nice, he usually will do the same for me. And in the end result is always a better dances. Win-win situation, therefore. Furthermore, better you become, the more you can influence the dance. If you feel that leader or follower is not as good as you … Well, maybe now would be the time for you to start doing more, participate in dance, create your partner the best dances as possible.
In general, those dancers whom always feel comfortable dancing with, are the most desirable partner to ask for dance. And it does not anything to do with skills or levels, but the attitude.
Attitude affects how you perceive your dance night. If you feel that you are not asked to dance enough, which is by the way even enough? What if you try to ask actively people more. You can also learn how to lead / follow, and thus makes it possible for the dance more, then it is only up to you.
If you get a negative answer when requesting a dance? Sometimes it just happens. Ask then someone else, with him/her, you probably have a better dance anyway.
What if you get comments about your dancing skills? Well, I think it is never acceptable, the only thing I can say if my partner is hurting me or being other ways inappropriate. Comments of your ability to dance tell more about that person than you. Yes, I also has got my part of those comments… The followers job is to follow! Leg variations, music interpretation, or using your body when dancing is not ok, because they have not been lead, and BS, I say. If the follower are following as leader is asking, her body and legs are free to interpret the music, as long as it does not hurt your partner. Same for leader of course.
I can imagine what kind of comments leaders receive because I also lead occasionally. Sometimes followers feel necessary to comment on the leaders patterns, or the amount of them … a beginner leader (or a little more danced also) is not very easy to lead, keep up the rhythm, listen to music and make good amount of cool patterns and follow that you don’t run into the others, if you think it is easy, I suggest you to try sometimes, you can learn something about your own dancing also.
The fact that you focus on the criticize of others, does not help you to get a good feeling. To notice the good things is more difficult when you focus only on the negative. Of course, not always the life is all stars, rainbows and pink unicorns, but really bad dances I have not personally experienced in a while. Sometimes if seems that the feeling is not correct, then it is not worth trying to force it. If you go to party feeling little bit down, then you get the first dance, and your leader is trying to make your dance best he can both of you, and suddenly you realize, wow, the feeling has change totally. Sometimes it works, sometimes no.
It upsets me, every time I hear people talking bad things about others, we should pay more attention how we are going to get more people to dance, and how you can help them stay here and feel welcome to our amazing community. Every night when you go to dance, find one of the beginners, dance with him/her and hook them to dance, by accepting and giving a vibe that comes when you together get created the best possible dance, for both of you.
If I decide when I leave home, that this will be the best dance evening so far and all the dances are going to be great, they usually are. With every partner you just need to find that one thing you like, not just wait for someone to do it for me.
Now I’m going to go dance and experience the best dances for this evening! You should also do that. 😉